Undercover Wife or Devious Trapper?

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Relationships and crisis go hand-in-hand. In a relationship crisis, it’s not about who is to blame, who was wrong, who hurt who. Finding blame actually makes it almost impossible to constructively deal with the crisis.

Relationships are the combined energy of all partners – warts and all. The ultimate connection (or disconnection) comes from the combined behaviours of the partners and breakdown is always a possibility at some time in all relationships.

In the early months, relationships usually feel effortless and exciting, but that’s not forever. Long-term success comes from the ongoing efforts of both partners, and to stay successful, relationships have to keep up with life’s changes as well as be the catalyst for even more change.

Because relationships, like everything else in the universe, are constantly changing, it’s inevitable that problems are going to occur. Unrealistic and unreasonable demands, unexplored expectations, unresolved issues, difficult patterns of behaviours and the like are the norm rather than the exception in every partnership.

And in every problem circumstance it is easy make someone wrong or right. The problem with doing so is that at the end of the day, it makes very little difference. Regardless of who or what is right or wrong, the relationship will do one of three things; it will progress forward, break down or stay stuck right where it is and go nowhere.

So when a suspicious wife creates a false ‘FaceBook’ identity, to catch out her husband and his cheating ways, what does she really achieve?

The morning radio discussions were as divided as they were varied.

“Because his behaviour was suspicious and the wife had seen an email from another female, her actions were warranted.”

“Because she falsely lured him with a fake ID and fake photos, having a good knowledge of how to seduce him, she was devious.”

“His wife should kick him out”

Everyone saw the cheating husband as being wrong and the wife’s actions as being vindicated given that her suspicions turned out to be correct.

Sadly, the outcome is a total marital breakdown and all this entails financially and emotionally for all members of the family. From now on, who was right and who was wrong no longer matters.

The family’s wealth is going to be used to fund one of the most emotionally devastating and financially destructive processes that our society today has to offer.

Wouldn’t it have been so much easier for this couple to sit down and have an emotionally honest discussion about what really matters? After all they were both in a relationship so lacking that it no longer served the emotional needs of either partner!

It’s possible that they were and still are ... Perfect Partners for each other!