Life is a struggle, so it is said. But what comes out of the struggle is everything wonderful in our life. We may struggle to get rid of our problems, in the fantasy that if could get rid of them all, then everything would be fantastic.
"If only I can have a new relationship with someone who truly understands me then things will be great". "If only my children behave themselves then I will have a wonderful life". "If only I have more money, then my problems will all be over". And so on ...
But problem-free is just not possible. Solve one problem and you've got another. Deal with one issue and you've got a host of new issues to deal with.
Every time you solve problems, the next set of problems is bigger and more complex than the ones just solved.
"My problem is that I live alone and I am lonely". So I get married and the lonliness problem is now solved, but hey life is anything but problem free now!!
Problems, in one form or another, are a fact of absolutely everyone's life, all of the time. Perhaps that's why we are such great problem solvers. We are collectively addicted to finding problems and solving them. Without problems to solve, life is all but meaningless. without problems we have nothing to do ... we have no reason to drive ourselves forward ... we have nothing daring us to become even greater.
Our problems then are our constant motivation to grow and develop. That's why happy people are those who are constantly solving problems, while unhappy people are those who are stuck on the same old problems year in and year out.
It stands to reason then that the greatest gifts you can potentially receive are most likely to come from those who you regard as the source of your greatest problems!
Showing posts with label challenges. Show all posts
Showing posts with label challenges. Show all posts
Relationships at Work
Here's one of the great paradox's of life. The ones we love the most, the ones we spend the most time with, the ones who mean the most to us, are the very ones that we treat like junk at times! We seem to reserve both our best and worst behaviors for the people we love the most!
You see in all loving relationships eventually things 'unlike love' come up sooner or later. Of course some people do manage to pretend that they just don't have that sort of stuff in them. But usually this pretending comes with a huge price tag, like some sort of illness or an emotional dysfunction somewhere, either with you or even someone who is very close to you.
The point being made is this. The good and the bad always come together. That's just a part of the deal of being in a 'happy and healthy relationship with anybody. Sooner or later, the junk's going to show itself.
If you have a successful relationship then you and the one you love are going to have challenges to deal with. If you are in an unsuccessful relationship then you and the one you love are going to be challenged by something, and you'll be having lots of trouble dealing with it.
And that's essentially the difference between relationships that work compared to relationships that don't work. It's not about the sort of problems that they have.
Great relationships deal with their challenges, whereas failing relationships get stuck and can't move forward when they come up against a challenge.
You see in all loving relationships eventually things 'unlike love' come up sooner or later. Of course some people do manage to pretend that they just don't have that sort of stuff in them. But usually this pretending comes with a huge price tag, like some sort of illness or an emotional dysfunction somewhere, either with you or even someone who is very close to you.
The point being made is this. The good and the bad always come together. That's just a part of the deal of being in a 'happy and healthy relationship with anybody. Sooner or later, the junk's going to show itself.
If you have a successful relationship then you and the one you love are going to have challenges to deal with. If you are in an unsuccessful relationship then you and the one you love are going to be challenged by something, and you'll be having lots of trouble dealing with it.
And that's essentially the difference between relationships that work compared to relationships that don't work. It's not about the sort of problems that they have.
Great relationships deal with their challenges, whereas failing relationships get stuck and can't move forward when they come up against a challenge.
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