Photo courtesy of Stock.XCHNG
Love is all I need to have a successful, happy relationship. Love is enough in the beginning, but after a while the relationship needs more. So there’s work to be done and if and your partner are unable to work together to grow and develop, the future can quickly become grim. Sure the songs we hear on the radio, televisions shows, and movies tell us that being blissfully in love is enough, but to be healthy, relationships in the longer term require much more than that.
Two people automatically grow closer with time. This is something that does in fact happen, but it’s not always a pleasant thing. When partners feel closer towards each another they are certainly going to come up against some rough spots and before ‘the wonderful’ comes, the challenges have to be conquered. Once you get over the challenges life is usually quite good ... at least for a while.
Children bring a couple together. The biggest challenge a marriage has to face is children. Wonderful and special as they are, they also bring pressure into the relationship and if something is not quite right, then children will really bring this to the surface. Its when the couple are able to resolve whatever it is, that they feel closer together. Statistically, couples with children have a slightly lower rate of divorce than childless couples.
I can change my partner. People change; however, the most accurate prediction of the kind of companion your partner will be in the future is the kind of companion he is right now. Those who marry a person with the intention of overhauling their personality or of converting them into something else invariably face serious disappointments. Great relationships are collaborative efforts in which both partners are dedicated to improving — as individuals and as a couple. The only person we can really change is our self.
It only takes one partner to wreck a relationship. The breakdown of any relationship is the responsibility of both partners. Healthy relationships serve the needs of both partners and it’s when this stops happening that the challenges begin. The relationship comes undone when both partners are unable to work together so that both partners have their needs met. Anything less than that is unacceptable in the longer-term and one or both partners are going to rebel in some way.
Being in a relationship will end loneliness. The fact is, many people in a relationship are still very lonely. Loneliness can also be the product of believing that no one understands you, so that you can have that "sick of being lonely" feeling even in a relationship. In fact, many married people describe themselves as lonely either because they are not emotionally close to their partner or because they depend on their partner for most or all social contacts.
A successful relationship is one where there is no conflict. Couples often enter a relationship believing that arguing is bad. They expect things to go smoothly, with maybe a few minor bumps along the way. Then they run into the familiar struggles over money, sex, children, or sharing responsibilities. If you don't recognise that all couples confront these problems, you may feel that something is wrong with your marriage. Quite possibly, the main problem has to do with harbouring unrealistic expectations and therefore feeling disappointed.
My partner should know what my needs are. In reality, most of us do rather poorly when we try to second guess someone else or try to “read their mind.” But the responsibility to let your spouse know what you need and want ultimately rests on you. Give your partner feedback and clues so he or she can have the information needed to make different choices.
Having a good relationship is just luck. The most common reasons couples have long-term marital success are commitment and companionship. They understand that their ‘happy’ marriage takes work, dedication and commitment to each other. The happiest couples are friends who share lives and have compatible interests and values.
Don’t fight in front of the children. It can be valuable for children to see their parents work through a disagreement with goodwill. Kids also need to learn the reality that even people who love each other don't always get along perfectly.
No comments:
Post a Comment